I. The Church Girl In Me

I hear you, dear reader. “Duhhhhhh. “A pastor who has a church girl for a wife? Where is the problem? Isn’t that ideal for every pastor, a church girl wife?”

Okay, so let me hasten to define “church girl.” A church girl, from my perspective, is that woman who is very experienced in church work and said experience supplants any spirituality, any genuine relationship with Jesus. A church girl is that female in the church who works hard to perfect her church work skills, one who takes great pride in the work she does. The church girl’s efforts are not about the love of Christ but her works are about labor for praise. Her efforts are not about John 4:24 worship but they are about work for accolades. It is not about the work of the ministry but it is about church busy work. I was that church girl.

I have a memory that I suspect reveals the genesis of the church girl in me. It was Easter Sunday morning and I was about four or five years old. I was sitting on my mother’s lap in all my Easter finery in some large probably Methodist church in Texas. You know how we used to do it back in the day. I had on my little straw hat with the ribbon around the crown, my frilly little dress, the white socks with the lace around the cuffs and my white patent leather Mary Jane’s. The crowing accessory was, of course, my little white gloves. As I sat in my mother’s lap I considered the back of the pew in front of me and then looked at my white gloved hands. Another glance at the pew and back to my hands and it came to me in that moment; I could dust the back of that pew with my gloved hands, which is exactly what I did. Voila! A church girl is born!

My church girl mantra was “I’ll do it!”
You need someone to make the announcements on Sunday morning: I’ll do it!
You need someone to type the church bulletins? I’ll do it!
You need someone to copy the bulletins? I’ll do it!
You need someone to work with the youth? I’ll do it! ,
You need someone to be president of the choir? I’ll do it.
You need someone to do anything, anywhere? I’ll do it!
I’ll do it; I’ll do it; I’ll do it!

Whew! The problem with my being a church girl was that while I was prepared to do the work, I was not prepared for the challenge of the labor. I understood the work, but I did not understand real worship. I was well acquainted with the work, but I had barely a nodding acquaintance with the Word.

Oh, and one more thing about this church girl. This lack of sincere Christianity was not evident in my life because I knew how to front, how to wear the mask and appear to be that which I really was not. Yes, I knew how to front; I just did not know how to follow Jesus.

1 Timothy 2:3 says, “Endure hardship as a good soldier of the Lord Jesus Christ.” I was not prepared to endure, forbear or long suffer in anything. In fact, since I was a church girl whose work was peripheral to any genuine work of the ministry, I was not prepared for any kind of warfare. Though I had been in the church all my life, I did not even know there was such a thing as spiritual warfare, which also means I had no clue about the need for the whole armor of God.

Had there been a draft board for the army of the Lord and the board called me in to test for my fitness potential as a soldier, I would have been classified as 4-F, “registrant not fit for spiritual service.”

4-F. I was 4-F. I was Foolish. I was Fake. I was Flawed. I was Fallible. This, dear reader, is an accident waiting to happen in the church.

Next: I was Foolish.